


Professor Scientist

by interdimensionalhitchhiker84



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Carlos is a Hogwart's professor, Carlos is a wizard, M/M, Magic, Secrets everywhere, all of it can be pretty creepy, mentions of body horror, standard night vale stuff, standard wizarding world stuff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-22 08:11:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2500784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/interdimensionalhitchhiker84/pseuds/interdimensionalhitchhiker84
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos is beyond excited when he gets an offer to work at Hogwarts teaching science, but when his old boss offers him a chance to take a summer trip to do a bit of exploration involving a mysterious town, it's too much of an adventure to resist.  Getting stuck there wasn't part of the plan, but it could have been worse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Professor

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, WTNV, or anything else that you specifically recognize. I also make no money from this.  
> I saw something on tumblr where Carlos was a Hogwarts professor and I was truly shocked to see how well it fit, but I couldn't help but write it down. So,  
> Enjoy!

CHAPTER 1--PROFESSOR

  
Professor McGonagall sighed. This was the sixth inquiry this year from the parents of muggleborn first years about science and math courses. Arithmancy had been expanded nearly a decade ago to include mathematics for first and second years and additional maths added alongside them. History of Magic had grown to include a side-along course in Muggle history, and Muggle Studies now included mandatory lessons on literature and grammar. But sciences were still unobtainable. It was a vicious cycle, really. Because no science courses were offered, no students went on to study it further and there were therefore no witches or wizards qualified to teach the courses when they were requested.

  
However, despite the struggles, something would simply have to be done. And so it was that Headmistress Minerva McGonagall pulled a piece of blank parchment from the stack on her desk, pulled out her favorite fountain pen, and began a very important letter which would later be sent to the Ministry of Magic's Department of International Cooperation and from there, to the appropriate persons in other countries.

  
Nearly three months later, a man with perfect hair sat reading this letter, a perfectly beautiful smile growing on his face in perfect proportion to his curiosity and excitement. Once he had skimmed past the first few paragraphs though, and had read the offer beyond, his grin could hardly be contained on his face.

>   
> _Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, located in Northern Scotland near Hogsmead village, seeks a full-time worker to teach and head up our new Sciences department. This will include working with students aged eleven through eighteen to give them a solid grounding in all areas of scientific interest and the worker will be required to create lesson plans and sculpt the new courses._
> 
>   
> _Candidates should have several years of experience in science-related fields. The right candidate will have a firm grasp and knowledge of all non-magical scientific achievements, and magical studies in the fields, international and not. Ability to use magic to supplement the learning and comprehension of the subject in a way that will tie it into other subjects taught at the school is a plus. Previous experience teaching is preferred, but not required._
> 
>   
> _This full-time position runs from August 25th to the end of June each year. Work hours are 8 am to 5pm, five days per week, with the possibility of evening and/or weekend duties. The salary for this position is 3,700 galleons per year._
> 
>   
> _Founded around 900 AD, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is widely known as the best school for young witches and wizards in Europe. As times change, so must curriculum, and as a whole, we have done marvelously so far, adding classes in non-magical literature, history, and more to the already quality education we offer over the last decade._
> 
>   
> _As a full-time employee, the worker would receive room and board, food, and fully covered medical care during the work year._
> 
>   
> _Please feel free to contact us by owl or through the appropriate international departments if you have questions about the position._

  
The man with perfect hair sat down the letter and looked up. This was just what he'd been looking for—a chance to share the joys of science with other magical students while taking a break from all his government-funded work studying previously unexplained magical phenomenon.

“I'll do it,” he said excitedly as he looked into the eyes of the international representative who had brought the letter to his attention. The woman on the other side of the desk smiled as well.

  
“Wonderful. We'll get that all worked out with visas and whatnot well before the next school year starts. Carlos, this will be great for international cooperation. We'll all be very sad, of course, that you'll be leaving us, but this is also a wonderful thing.” She shook his hand and his smile, if possible, widened a bit as he chuckled slightly and scratched absentmindedly at the back of his head with the handle of his wand.

  
He bit his lip and looked up again. “Yeah, great work! I can't wait!”

  
\--o--

  
Carlos fiddled with his robes and stared at the resume in his hands, feeling quite intimidated by the impressive underground architecture of the British Ministry of Magic building. When the person he'd spoken to earlier returned with another person, he looked up. “Headmistress Minerva McGonagall,” he said before scuttling away again.

  
Carlos smiled nervously. “Hi.”

  
“Mr.--”

  
“No! Uh, just call me Carlos, please.” He smiled again, hoping to look cheerful for the interview, despite how his nerves were twisting his stomach around.

  
“Yes, of course... Carlos,” she said. “Come with me, please.” She led him to a small empty office without a nameplate on the door and sat behind the desk, leaving him to claim the other chair. “I was quite excited to see your application. Hogwarts has always been considered a top school, but without a science program, we've been falling a bit behind the times. Not many applied and you've come as the most recommended.”  
Carlos nodded, handing her the resume he'd been holding in his lap earlier. She skimmed through it and then looked back up, seeming rather pleased. “Tell me about yourself, Carlos.”

  
And so it was that he stumbled his way through the interview, and when he emerged, he was smiling genuinely again.

  
Three days later, a letter appeared on his desk. He'd gotten the job. In two months, he'd be a teacher! Professor Carlos! He probably wouldn't admit to doing any such thing, but a certain Hannah Hawkins who passed by his office door at that exact moment told tales of his squeals for weeks after.

  
\--o--

  
As Carlos watched the group of second year gryffindors and ravenclaws file into the room, he grinned nervously, trying to breathe in and out as he knocked the eraser of his pencil repeatedly against the door frame. He was excited—no doubt about it!--but he was also very, very nervous.  
Most of the students looked around the room with wary and skeptic gazes. One girl looked terrified when she spotted the model skeleton in the corner and the beakers were eyed with distaste by many gryffindors.

  
Walking to the front of the room, he cleared his throat gently, giving himself a quick mental pep-talk. You can do this, Carlos. You're a scientist. You're ready for this. The lesson plans are good, everything's already set up, and they're twelve. Twelve-year-old's love to argue and that gives lots of good teaching opportunities. They'll soak it up like a sponge.

  
He leaned up against his desk and looked out over the students again. “Science!” he started, clapping his hands together. “I'm going to be teaching you this year, as your professor, but I'm cool, so you can call me Carlos. Or Professor Carlos.” He smiled. Lots of the class raised their eyebrows or started whispering to each other. “Now,” he continued, whirling around, his simple white over-robes spinning with him, “Who knows what atoms are?” A good three fourths of the class looked like he had just said the most nonsensical thing in the universe. He knew though, that by the end of the class, they would all understand.

  
Yes, this was going to be perfect.

  
\--o--

  
The classes with the older students were much more intense than those with the younger ones because there was an incredible amount to catch up on, but Carlos looked at it as a challenge and enjoyed every second. And despite the expectations of nearly every other teacher, most of the students seemed to really like their classes with the American professor with perfect hair. They seemed to understand things better too, although the questions some of them asked in Potions and Transfiguration had those teachers going to Professor Carlos with questions of their own.

  
In short, at the end of his second year of teaching at Hogwarts, Carlos was a professor that no one was eager to see leave. He'd found a home there.


	2. Into the Desert

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so Carlos gets his team. Well, starts it anyways.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2. Enjoy!

Carlos watched the students head out towards the train, the last stragglers just now reaching the gates, and found himself quite happy once again with his fifth floor classroom, even if it was quite the hike up the stairs to it. He smiled vaguely as he set the last microscope into it's box and pushed the model skeleton into a closet. Another hour, and everything would be perfectly stored for the summer.

  
Carlos could easily say that he'd never been happier with his job, or life in general. Of course, there would always be that lingering loneliness created by most of his fellow teachers not having a clue what he was going on about most of the time, and from being so separated from everyone around him by culture and accent and ... other things. He missed being able to easily talk to his old friends, or go home to have dinner with his mother on Monday nights, but he wouldn't give up this job for anything really. Being able to see his students learn and grow to understand and... it was wonderful. And anyway, he'd be headed over to the ministry for his portkey back to America the next morning, and he could spend most of the summer relaxing there. There really wasn't anything more he could want.

\--o--

Carlos was wrong.

-o-

“Carlos!” someone shouted as the portkey deactivated, dropping the scientist into the atrium of the much less intimidating American Department of Magic Michigan department.

“Carlos!” whoever it was repeated.

He turned towards where he thought the sound was coming from, still a bit nauseous from the long jump through space, and spotted Jeremy, one of his old employees. He smiled weakly and waved with his left hand while reaching into his pocket to make sure his luggage was all still there with his right.

The young man was still yelling Carlos' name and was jumping and running and tripping over the other people in the atrium. Finally, he made it over to the portkey area and put a hand of his ex-boss's shoulder for support, bending over and panting and he kept talking. “Carlos. You're here.” The young man was grinning in a slightly unsettling manner.

“What is it, Jeremy?” Carlos asked, pushing them both out of the area and into the main area.

If possible, Jeremy smiled even wider. “You won't believe what the department's trying to get volunteers for right now.”

Well obviously that spiked his curiosity. To be fair though, it didn't take much to do that. “Well? What is it then?”

“Just, come on. You'll like it, I promise.” Jeremy grabbed his arm and tried starting up in a run again, but he was having none of that. Being a teacher can do that to you. Don't run in the halls and all that. Well, at least that's what he told himself--safety--but really, he was just dead tired and didn't want to move any faster than was absolutely necessary.

“Jeremy,” he started, an edge to his voice that said he really was interested, but also just wanted to go home.

“Come on,” the slightly younger man insisted.

Carlos relented and allowed himself to be pulled along the hallways to the office of his old boss—at a walk, of course—and then looked expectantly at Jeremy, the young man's glasses sliding down his nose again as he grinned happily.

“Well, go on then!”

“Seriously?” Carlos demanded.

“Yup.”

Carlos sighed and knocked on the door, entering wearily as Janet said 'come in.' He threw a last irritated glance back at his former employee before the door swung shut and he turned to his old boss. “Hey Janet.”

“Carlos!?”

He nodded.

She grinned hungrily. “Carlos, you won't believe what I've got and am looking for volunteers for.”

“So Jeremy informed me.”

“It's perfect for you. How would you like to go on a trip to explore a town that doesn't exist?”

“Huh?” His mouth may have said 'huh' but his eyes lit up with excitement and anticipation. It was really already decided that he'd be going, even if he didn't know it yet.

\--o--

Two days from then was the full briefing on the mission.

“You're going to locate, study, and report back on a small desert town. There's no physical evidence of it actually being there, but based on memory snippets and rumors, we can be sure that something is.”

“Uh, yes, that's great, but who are you including in 'you'?” Jeremy asked.

Janet sighed. “Carlos, Jeremy, and Daphne.”

“Wait, Daphne?” Carlos said, spinning around in his chair to look at the auror.

She glared at him.

Daphne looked like she was cursing the universe to eternal damnation under her breath, but Janet continued on as if nothing were occurring.

“We don't know much, but it's possible that this is a well-hidden community of wizards. More than likely, really. And if so, they need to be reintegrated into society and possibly all arrested, based on certain ones of the reports.” She coughed gently. “Anyway, go, find, collect samples, take notes, report on anything and everything—especially how they've managed to hide so successfully.

“Rough, hopeful maps and the info we already have is in the folder and materials are packed and ready to go. We even sent word ahead that you're coming. They probably won't get it, but who knows? Daphne's in charge of security and Carlos is in charge of everything else. Have fun!”  
And with that, Janet grabbed her things and all but ran from the room, leaving the small team to gape at each other.

\--o--

It wasn't ideal—just Carlos and Jeremy and a most-likely-evil auror pretending to be a scientist—but it was better than nothing and at least none of them would be bored.  
The group set to work immediately, Carlos spreading the papers across a table while Jeremy hovered over his shoulder, scanning and reading the documents as Carlos did, and Daphne stood off to the side, eying the two men warily. Well, on a normal person, it would have indicated wariness, but it was actually deep-seated hatred, distrust, and suspicion. She was sure to be an excellent addition to the team.

Anyways, once the intel had been reviewed, it didn't take long to come up with a game plan.

“Well,” Carlos said, holding up a finger for emphasis, “Jeremy's got some preliminary curse-breaking experience, meaning he can sense a ward-line from miles away. I say we head on out there and drive around till we pick up on something.”

It may not have been the most scientific approach, and Daphne certainly grumbled, but a search grid was spread out soon enough and the small group was on its merry way, materials all piled into the back of the department-issued, magically altered, hybrid coupe.

It only took a few minutes of driving after the portkey jump to the mid-west for Daphne, a completely magic-raised witch, to succumb to carsickness. Luckily, basic medical potions were included in their materials and covered everything from allergies to misplaced limbs.

-o-

Hours later, Carlos demanded they stop, interrupting Daphne mid sentence.

“It's imperative that we appear to be perfectly ordinary muggles until we have solid proof that these people are in the know and--”

“Daphne, please! We've been over this a million times now! You've been droning on for ages and it's getting old. We're non-magical scientists sent to investigate strange phenomena in the town. We get it.” A brief staring match ensued as Carlos attempted to assert control over the situation and Daphne tried to maintain her precarious position of power. “Now, there should be a rest stop up ahead, so we'll stop for a bit there. We need food and Jeremy probably needs a bathroom break, what with how much water he's been guzzling.”

Jeremy choked on the water currently descending his throat and reached up to wipe some of the sweat from his large forehead back into his reddish blond hair, which spiked up from the moisture. Once he'd gotten back his ability to breathe, he scowled at his boss. “It's hot.”

Carlos laughed. “I know; it's the desert. And summer.” He pulled the car into the parking lot of the rest stop then, alongside a little red pickup, and unbuckled his seatbelt. “Everybody out.”

\--o--

Nobody was quite sure how the small blonde girl who didn't seem to say much managed to worm her way into the group, but by morning, the team was one scientist up and their cover was solidified by having to keep their secrets from one of their own. Daphne was not pleased but then, when was she ever?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment maybe? Thanks for all the kudos so far! I'm glad you all like it, but I'd love some more feedback!

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment, maybe?  
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
